Ah-ha!

So, I've heard of many former plus size people talk about their "ah-ha" moment. The moment when it all clicked for them and they knew they couldn't keep doing this. I think I might have had mine today. I had my CT scan and through the advances of modern technology, the hospital gave me my very own CD of my CT scan. I have no idea what I'm looking at in most cases, but there was one that is pretty identifiable.

So, this is my scan. My initial reaction was shock at the number and size of my fat rolls. Not a pleasant sight. But, what concerned me more was how LITTLE my skeleton seems to be. I mean, did I think I had a more substantial infrastructure since I've come to cause it to bear such a load? I was dilutted. This is terrible. My poor little body. (Never thought I'd say that).

Otherwise this week has been great. I've been hitting the gym with some of my friends from work and eating pretty well. I'm going to confess to a doughnut and today I had McDonalds (before seeing this scan!). I'm not going to make excuses. 2 indescretions in 4 days. I've done worse. I'll do better.

I have a new "strategy". Many people have asked me, "We just want you healthy. What can I do to help you?" Well, anyone whose tried to hold me accountable to a "diet" knows that I can be a raving bitch if you rub me the wrong way (disclaimer: there is a right way to encourage GOOD eating habits, not perfect eating habits), so that's never worked. Having people who don't go to the gym or workout ever telling me I need to go also doesn't work. So, this is my new idea for those who want to "help me". I read an article once about a woman who had 250 pounds to lose, and had battled it her whole life. So, starting at her current 400 lbs, her family and friends "took" a weight marker, like 390, 380, 370, etc until she reached 150 and rewarded her at their assigned marker. One person decided at 300 pounds, they would quit smoking as she'd hoped that for them for so long. Another at 270 said they would buy her a new workout outfit, another did a mani/pedi with her, another bought her the first swimsuit she'd worn in years at 200, etc. None of them were lavish or decadent, but it meant as much to her to see them succeed in their goals as herself being rewarded along the way.

So, I'll be doing this, not to aquire "things", but to know that someone is waiting on for me on the otherside, even if that's only 10 pounds away. I think my BIG reward will be when I hit 150, I'm making my husband take me on a cruise. (He doesn't know that yet, but he will!)

If you want to join in, just comment or email me (heatherambrosia@gmail.com) and hopefully by February I'll have all 18 slots filled up (I have 180 pounds to lose and setting 10 pound goals).

Thanks for your love and support so far. I know I can do it!